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  • ...another update...

    Well - didn't manage to find anything on older women/younger men and then got distracted by life, the universe and everything - as one does!

    So where was I...?

    My Amusing Academic (AA) still around and lovely as ever when we see each other but more company than sex and spanking in recent months.

    Mr Poly has remained quiet since I last blogged and I guess I'm happy to let things lie.

    My sweet and nervous man from the Swansea valleys sans transport and mobile phone continues to be around but spaces between visits stretching out - once again happy to go with the flow or let things fade away.

    Chap from about 50 miles away from straight site who’d like sound of my profile disappeared before we arranged a meet - it happens...

    Having wondered about pros and cons of youth, my Very Young Man and I continued to exchanged some interesting messages about local history and more and decided to meet and he then disappeared - such is life!

    I met Mr Publican and he was good company if you like someone who tells a good anecdote but I got impression he wasn't really interested and neither was I. I heard all about other woman he'd met via the Goldfish Bowl who was "psycho" (his words!) but stunning and he regrets having to let her go - I got the impression because of her looks. She did sound like a bunny-boiler who was desperate for a one and only and kids. She kept turning up after the split and reading between the lines he took full advantage of what was on offer while wanting her to not be in his life - nice!

    I changed my mind about spanky site and did put a personal, but responses were from those in relationships looking more for spanking than sex, so no joy.

    All went quiet and then got some interest from the kink site. And suddenly there's a flurry of interest on straight dating site and the Goldfish Bowl.

    Met a nice local chap from kink site and had a couple of dates and things progressing nicely. Nearly met another chap from site who hails from West Wales but work (his)got in way of our initial meeting. And chap from the Goldfish Bowl agreed to meet but then gone quiet - wonder what happens next...!

  • Younger Men

    I'm a bit cautious about too big an age gap as it would make me feel weird and possibly like I'm being done a favour. I don't have self-esteem issues, but nor do I have any illusions about myself. I am no alpha female but happy enough in my own skin.

    I have wondered about young men seeking older women - if they're local then it's not about a passport and better life. Noticed there was a docu on Channel 4 - where else? - except possibly 5 or BBC3 - about senior citizen escorts. Not really thought of the age gap being similar to a fetish. That feels more equal if it works for them and not just about the likes of me getting my hands on young flesh.

    Still the issue of them not having memories of when we went decimal/the Beatles were together/Thatcher reigned/whatever, though...

    I shall attempt to find a site where young men discuss the joys of older women who are not Joan Collins, La Lumley or whoever and hope I don't end up on a porn site!

  • Update

    There has been a steady flow under the metaphoric bridge since my last post, but limited dating opportunities. I had a busy time work and friend-wise, then had illness and a bereavement in the family.

    But Spring is sprung the grass is rizz and the sap rises...

    My Amusing Academic (AA) remains a lovely constant, but geography and commitments limit our times together. Company, sex and spanking remain first class.

    Mr Poly paid me a visit while his wife was doing similar twenty miles away! Very green sharing transport for their adventures I thought. Had our usual mix of chat, cuddles, meal and sex – very pleasant, but quiet since…

    My sweet and nervous man from the Swansea valleys sans transport and mobile phone continues to be a regular fixture. His family responsibilities and my busy times and bereavement limited our dates, but they’ve been lovely – we watch old movies and then go to bed for a few hours.

    As said last time - having visited “straight” site again I started getting messages once more. I did meet the arty West-Walian with interests and professional background similar to mine. He was very nice but after our first meeting, snow and illness took a hand and somehow we never got round to a second meeting.

    And then the busy time followed by family duty stuff took over for a while. I decided to start looking again and finally met the other chap from the straight site I’d nearly met (daughter sprained her ankle and he then decided he wanted to meet women not seeing anyone else – with me so far?!). Another nice man with potential - Seemed more up for the “friends with benefits” idea as easier than fuller relationship as long as he has childcare duties. He left it to me to initiate next step, but not responded to my email so another one bites the dust!

    Have agreed to meet someone from about 50 miles away from straight site who’d like sound of my profile.

    I also revisited the goldfish bowl and it’s more sexual angle and triggered lots of messages. I’ve updated profile to say I’m looking for men with time to spare in the week as that’s when I have most free time. Most messages are still from men ignoring my profile and getting over-excited by my proximity. That said, a few reasonably bright men have read, inwardly digested and made contact.

    Two of the most interesting are a very young man with family commitments on the weekend and a pub landlord. I decided Very Young man was too young, but we’ve exchanged some interesting messages about local history (as you do!) and I’m beginning to wonder about pros and cons of youth - more anon.

    I have a pre-date date with Mr Publican this week, so watch this space.

    I've had a peep at the spanky site but not felt tempted to advertise interest there, but decided to join "fetlife" - site for those with "special interests":
    https://fetlife.com/home/v4#everything

    It's international so not best place for dating, but I thought it worth a cheeky profile:

    Large, curvy and very ordinary-looking Welsh polyamorist seeks Holy Grail - NSA (but ongoing) hedonistic pleasure with men who worship breasts, spank bottoms, love kissing, adore fucking, can string sentences together and can find South Wales - it's a long shot but if you don't ask you don't get.

    Says it all really...

  • Feast or famine...

    Have been enjoying the company of my Amusing Academic (AA) who visits regularly for company as well as sex and spanking. Was also seeing Mr Poly about once a month or two for walks, meals, kisses, cuddles and sex, but he'd gone quiet since before Christmas. I knew that there was family stuff going on so not surprised. he has been back in touch and we've set up a date.

    My Semi-detached Married man(SDMM) did not get in touch after his holiday and neither did My Lovely Young man (LYM) - a shame as either or both would have been a delightful occasional treat.

    My sweet and nervous man from the Swansea valleys sans transport and mobile phone has however become a regular fixture. He has family carer responsibilities and is very much a hometown boy. we've had some nice days out and watch movies at my place and have some time in bed as well. Although in his fifties, he is somewhat limited in his experiences both social and sexual so it feels like being teenagers which is fun if limited erotically, but rather sweet.

    I was thinking that I ought to make more effort to find some friends with benefits who may fill gaps in my itinerary when I got a message on the old straight dating site - a chap who lives about thirty miles away is a music teacher into psychology and interested in polyamory and finding out about mt hinted-at "alternative fantasies"! We exchanged enthusiastic messages, arranged a meet, then silence! i sent message saying I assumed cold feet/change of mind and wished him luck, but no response.

    Having visited site again I seem to have triggered it's matchmaking tendencies and started getting messages about potential dates, one of whom wrote to me - An arty West-Walian with interests and professional background similar to mine. We've had a first meeting and have arranged another so watch this space.

    Another chap from that site also got in touch - we'd nearly met over a year ago but his daughter sprained her ankle and he then decided he wanted to meet women not seeing anyone else which was fair enough. Sounds like he may be interested and there's been a few positive comments on my profile from other men, so I shall see what happens...

    What I really want is someone who lives within reasonable distance wants regular enthusiastic sex every week or two on a mid-week afternoon or evening and can make me smile and hold a simple conversation. of course we'd also have to fancy each other as well not too much to ask...!

  • Pre-date dates

    I think of first meets as pre-dates rather than actual dates. Hopefully this takes the pressure off and makes it clear that nothing is going to happen other than ice-breaking.

    Met a very sweet and nervous man from the Swansea valleys who lacks own transport and mobile phone - so that was a bit of a challenge! We met in a town centre and went to a pub and talked non-stop for a couple of hours - always a good sign. Agreed we want to meet again but logistics will be the challenge - luckily he is within 20 mile radius so I shall be collecting him for our first actual date which will be a bit strange...

  • Just been reading a Master and slave diary...

    ...on the norty site - quite entertaining, but not my style. it seems he has an orgasmatron which gets all the wee slavies helpless but actually remains unnamed. it competes with his amazing penis, fingers, eyes, butt-plug, shackles and an array of BDSM equipment and all go home happy bunnies.

    Despite my flippancy, am sure they are all having a lovely time and if genuine it's fab that they are finding fulfilment.

    Can't wait to see the ads - perhaps a Master in a jiffy bag? How undignified! :))

  • Cyber dating documentary

    This is the Panorama documentary on the dodgy side of cyberdating. Quite good I thought.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b037wr14/Panorama_Tainted_Love_Secrets_of_the_Dating_Game/

    Of course "Tainted Love" takes me straight back to the eighties, New Romantics and the Soft Cell version of a song by that name...

  • The further adventures...

    Well, had weekend planned with my Amusing Academic (AA) - by the time he arrived we were both starving so a curry was called for and duly relished. Despite being full of curry after a long journey and day's work AA was somewhat frisky and spanking and sex ensued! it had been a while so he go a bit carried away with the toys - particuarly the tawse and cane. I always complain vociferously, but only because it is such fun despite/because of the pain! Had lovely time doing ordinary stuff over weekend like admire the sea and eat icecream - it's a hard life...

    Had a lovely visit from Mr Poly - went for a couple of walks, ate ice-cream (a hobby of mine!) and had some lovely sex before indulging in Chinese food - as you can see - I'm very cosmopoitan!

    My Semi-detached Married man(SDMM) did indeed have good reason to not be aroud and messaged to say he was off for a much-needed holiday. I wished him well and said I'd be pleased to hear from him on his return.

    My Lovely Young man (LYM)was about to go away again I believe, but we exchanged messages to say we'd enjoyed each other's company - we're so polite! - so I may hear from him when next around...

    Have had odd exchanges (some very odd!)on the norty site and agreed to further info exchanges and/or safe meets, but all quiet. Just watched docu on dating sites and their dodginess - will write more another time.

  • Negatives of cyber dating

    I am using a straight dating site that has emphasis on sex - Clue - lots-more-marine-creatures site. My "bit" is apparently the bit for naughty gilled beings. It is frustrating because like any sites it advertises one's profile across various sites. I was actually "found" on something called "Casual sl*ts"! I fell about laughing but chap who found me was a bit embarrassed...

    This tipping us all out together means that those looking for kinky stuff, older women, naughty marrieds or whatever assume that others are kindred spirits so a bit confsing.

    The other thing I'd not twigged at first was that men have to pay to do anything other than look through the window of the sexual sweetie shop while full membership is free to women who are the bait to part the men from their money. I hate both the prostituting of the women and the financial exploitation of the men, but I guess it is a business model that works like nightclubs of the seventies and eighties that did similar...

    Writing anything less than how keen you are for a shag gets censored, so criticising the site or explaining you are not up for anything and always available simply doesn't get posted, so one has to be creative in profile and diary.

    Despite the negatives, it is very amusing being in the goldfish bowl and while there are the inevitible invitations for a quick shag, there are perfectly nice and interesting men lurking in the shallows.

    Frustratingly, despite promising starts many men just disappear for reasons I've not fathomed. Seems this is true of men and women. Someone I know who has wonderful relationship that started in cyber had similar experiences as did his female partner. We talked about how some men would ignore everything written and write to women with whom there was no common ground and seemed particularly excited by geographical proximity.

    My friend summed it up as:
    'Come round for a shag and pick up a loaf on the way - On second thoughts that's too much trouble - Just bring the bread and forget the shag!'

    And yes - I do know that there are loads more men than women on these sites and men have a frustrating time of it, but the women are not always spoilt for choice and do get messed around. But as said - some nice chaps around and it is an amusing experience if entered in a spirit of adventure.

  • Never mind "man in a Jiffybag"...

    ...seems I can get a "Goodenough Man" from Amazon - I dare not look...!

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